My wife and I have a boring sex life now, it is routine and I want to to spice it up, how do I bring this up to my wife without hurting or angering her?

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Answered by: Sheri, An Expert in the Marriage - General Category
A boring sex life can become an inevitable situation in a marriage. Particularly when the communication in a marriage is lacking. Having an open communication is vital for a good marriage and a happy sexual marriage. Talking with your partner about your needs, wants,desires and fantasies can be hard because we tend to worry ourselves with the reactions of others,especially our partners. A boring sex life can ruin a marriage. Spiceing up your sex life is not only fun but can bring you closer to your partner. It is important to have an open mind and a willingness to try new things. Women love to feel romanced and adored by their partners. Men can take some vital steps to woo their partner outside of the bedroom that can increase their wives desire to please them in the bedroom.Little things like standing up for your partner when others are attacking them personally,leaving little notes, a quick sweet email or text,flowers,a call to say I am thinking of you and would love to meet you for lunch, a surprise picnic lunch in the park and even saying I'd love to meet you at the mall and buy you those shoes your wanting and maybe we could stop in at Victoria Secrets as well and buy something you could model for me tonight. these are just a few of the ways to add some spice to your marriage. You can also use the steps mentioned above to approach the topic of wanting to change up some of the sexual activity you share in the bedroom. A post it note on the bathroom mirror saying can we talk, I have a sexual fantasy I'd like to share with you and I want to see if you have one you'd like me to fulfill for you, is one of many ways to approach your partner but if you feel the situation is a bit more delicate, then rather than dropping hints it is important to prepare your partner for the conversation you wish to have with them. Let them know you wish to talk to them, that is is nothing bad or to worry over but that you have some desires in the bedroom, to change things up some and you would like to discuss them as well as to get their feedback. You might suggest that they can choose a time and setting to discuss the topic such as over a romantic dinner in a cozy and private setting or perhaps while enjoying some wine and a bubble bath together. If your desires are met with resistance be persistant yet understanding. Give your partner time to think things over but let them know that you want to experience more with them and that it is important to you to be able to talk with them about your needs as their needs are important to you.Be ready and willing to explore more than one or two different sexual expereinces and let them know your open to trying many new things. Let your wife know your sex life with her is important to you and it is all part of having fun and play as well as a very personal and intimate part of her that you enjoy and you want to be sure that your both always open to talking over your desires so that you can both be satisfied and happy together.
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