What are the general unspoken rules of marriage?

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Answered by: Melony, An Expert in the Marriage - General Category
How To Use the Three Unspoken Rules of Marriage

     Marriages can be tricky, especially when entered at a young age. The three unspoken rules of marriage, also considered as the most important things to remember when trying to make it work are communication, trust, and love. If even one of these three things does not exist in the relationship then the marriage will eventually fail. The current divorce rate is at about 50%. Places like the internet will tell you that the most current causes of divorce are social networks, finances, and hardships.

If thought out, one could relate the three important rules of marriage to the three main reasons why marriages fail. For example a relationship lacking the proper communication skills would likely fail due to a post on facebook, the wife posts a status about her day, husband finds out from the internet before finding out from his wife first, or when money is short, a husband with no trust would blame the wife for over spending. These are just a few examples of why these unspoken rules are so vital to a relationship.

     Communication is the single most important rule to a marriage. The husband and wife should be able to tell each other everything. Whether it is good news or bad, they should be able to find comfort in each other to be able to talk about the issues at hand without having fear that one or the other will lose trust or love in their spouse. The simple things, like telling each other about their day, can build strength in a relationship. Social networking has made it extremely difficult for couples to be able talk face to face about things these days, with daily status updates about how someone’s morning is going or what one has had for lunch, it is difficult at the end of the day to sit down to dinner and have that discussion with a loved one.

     Trust can be violated in so many ways, but not having that trust to begin with makes building strong, stable relationships very difficult, if not impossible. Accusing spouses of something they did not do is a very good sign of not having trust in someone. Not having trust in people means not having trust in relationships, or even in themselves. Trust issues can stem from previous failed relationships or even as far back as childhood. These trust issues need to be handled immediately and professionally if a relationship is at stake. A person cannot love another person unconditionally if there are trust issues.

     Love being the most important of the three unspoken rules of marriage, having an understanding of love is having an understanding of all things. Almost like being at peace with oneself, knowing unconditional love is knowledge of the purest form. Quoted from the traditional wedding vows, “for better or worse, for richer or poor…” if you can’t love someone through thick and through thin, than you can’t have that communication and trust bond. Marriage, if based on the three unspoken rules of communication, trust, and love, can last an eternity.

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